The Definitive Music Guide To Regular Show

Yes. I'm a twenty-year-old boy about to write about a cartoon and music that best personifies some of their characters. I do not blame you in anyway if you choose to stop reading, frankly, anything after this and rethink your life. However, if you could still give me that page view, it'd be ever so kind. Alright now on to the comprehensive and definitive music guide to characters from the cartoon Regular Show.

Mordecai: There's a handful of songs/albums/bands that could be used for your favorite blue jay. I'd wager anything off of Sound Of Silver and This Is Happening could fit the bill. As could Odelay and Modern Guilt or any other incredible trendy cool music that, uh yeh, is in my iTunes or Spotify. However, the band I have no hesitation pairing with him is The Velvet Underground's VU. Specifically, "Andy's Chest." Could it be that Lou Reed's talk singing in this song so reminds me of Mordecai basically lazier version of what very well could've been a Lou Reed song? Yeh, probably. I can't explain it, but every time I hear "Andy's Chest" I can just imagine Mordecai trying to play it to [insert female character here] and trying to explain the simple beauty in it and just the general niceness of it. The song, the album, the band is practically cat-nip for Mordecai like guys, so don't be surprised when I try to pull this on you, future wife (who am I kidding, you're not reading this)

Other Contenders: 
10 CC-"I'm Not In Love"
The Beta Band-"Dry The Rain"
David Bowie-"Queen Bitch"

Rigby: This was probably the easiest choice. Then it became one of the harder ones. It would not surprise me in the least if he at one point purchased kits off of the "Li'l Bastards" merchandise line. Which is why I have to go with my first choice and it's clearly Public Enemy and Anthrax's "Bring The Noise." The song has Rigby written all over it; it's got a kick-ass quality but in the back of your head you have to remind yourself who is playing and then you get a little sad. Is there any one who would appreciate "TERMINATOR EXIT!" more than that tiny little raccoon? No. No there isn't. However, with Rigby comes a lot of needless sarcasm that some might find....off-putting. Kind of like Pavement. Some people love them and some people don't understand why you love them, which is why Rigby and Pavement go hand-in-hand together. Mordecai would love to be Stephen Malkmus, but lord knows Rigby is a better incarnate. There's an unearned confidence behind Rigby and you can't help but admire it.

Other Contenders:
Beastie Boys-"Sabotage" or "Intergalactic"
Pavement-"Cut Your Hair" or "No Life Singed Her" or "You Are A Light"
Weezer-"Surf Wax America"

Benson: Given his past, the obvious choice to look to here would be drums heavy bands. The first two bands that come to mind when you do that are RUSH (sadly) and The Who, because of Neil friggin' Peart and Keith Moon, obviously. But when you think about it, would Benson even like music all that much, besides power ballads? It's possible, but almost definitely improbable. Benson doesn't have time to listen to music and doesn't really bother to do so either. He probably doesn't even listen to podcasts either-I don't know why that's important, and I'm noticing that I wrote it after the fact, but I guess it seems important? With all that said, I think there's one believable musician Benson would find acceptable to spend time listening to and it's pretty obvious (I should note that I had a different idea last week when I started this and have definitely forgotten it, but I think I did pretty well on the fly here). It's The Boss. It's always been Springsteen, because he generates the respect and he's the kind of star Benson can look up to. Also Max Weinberg for obvious reasons.

Other Contenders:
The Who-"A Quick One While He's Away"
RUSH-"YYZ"
Mountain-"Mississippi Queen"

Pops: Simple. Actually, not really. I have no idea what music that would best classify Pops besides music that would come out of a phonograph. That could be an easy target for Georgia's favorite indi-cult-band, but Pops would hate or at the very least be confused and possibly scared by some tracks off of In The Areoplane Over The Sea. Who knows what On Avery Island would do to him (shock him into a coma probably). Maybe it's because he strikes such a resemblance to Paul Dano's Eli Sunday from There Will Be Blood and because I've been listening to Jonny Greenwood's score almost once a day for the past three weeks, but that score is Pops. And the most likely thing to come out of a phonograph in my iTunes, so deal with it. Also the whole Eli Sunday thing. Deal with all of it.

Other Contenders:
*shurgs*
You got any better ideas?!

Skips: Skips almost fell into the realm of Benson in that it'd be hard to choose music for him, because the likelihood of Skip listening to music seems just as unlikely. However, he's a timeless being who's been around for a while. He's also a solo-bolo so if he were to listen to music, the artist singing would have to live the Skips lifestyle. There's one artist who immediately came to mind and it was hard to pinpoint just which song would best complement him. Then, while perusing old Conan interviews with Norm MacDonald (it's part of the writing process, naturally) and then one of my favorite songs hit me right in the face. And I only thought of it, because the first time I heard it was on Conan's last show on NBC and it struck me and has to this day. Yer gonna hate that you didn't think of it, because Skips is so obviously Neil Young. Young's voice is so distinct and clearly his own (unless Jimmy Fallon's impersonating it; Fallon's not my favorite, but his Neil Young imitation makes me mad at how good it is) as is Mark Hamill's when voicing Skips (though he's without a doubt better known for the voice of The Joker). And because Skips has lived for basically forever, a song about traveling with your first love and having to leave it. Long May You Run, Skips. Long may you run.

Other Contenders:
Johnny Cash-"The Man Comes Around"
Hank Williams-"Kaw-Liga"
George Harrison-"I Live For You"

Mitch "Muscle Man" Sorenstein: Heavy metal right? Something you might hear like when The Snake Pit is about to be opened, right (your welcome, P1's)? Yeh, I can't argue against it. Biggest problem is, the only metal or heavy metal I've ever heard, besides the genius of "Angel Of Death" is nil. Sure, some Dethklok here and there and of course some Tenacious D but really I'd be out of my comfort zone recommending or putting a metal song to the man himself. However, I can think of one musician who excelled in partying that you wouldn't necessarily think of. If there's one thing Harry Nilsson could do, it was provide great times (and ya know some pretty timeless music). And maybe it's the reputation of this song and the scene that I always and forever will associate with it, but "Jump Into The Fire" seems like a mantra that Muscle Man would apply to his life. I'm not saying he's a Henry Hill waiting to happen, but if there was one song that he'd listen to covered by LCD Soundsystem, I think it could only be this one.

Other Contenders:
Slayer-"Angel Of Death"
Dethklok-"Murmaider"
Tenacious D-"The Metal" [it's incredibly hard not find an "explicit" track from Tenacious D and not that you've been listening to these anyway, I'd really be surprised if you were still reading, but listen with caution if you don't like curse words]

Hi Five Ghost: Hi Five Ghost is trendy. No doubt about it. He's technically more with it than Mordecai. And the song/band that comes to mind is David Byrne & St.Vincent. You get the vintage nature of appreciating a band that shepherded in the idea of new wave alt music (Byrne) and a former member of the backing band for Sufjan Stevens and The Polyphonic Spree (St. Vincent). His appreciation extends across a broad timeline and he's not afraid to show it or rather I'm not afraid to hypothesize it. The man ghost likes a lot of music so really any kind of what I guess could be classified as "music appreciated by hipsters" or "trendy people" (hey, I'm trendy now!). The tasteless choice would've been to say the song people know Ray Parker, Jr. for and I'm not playing that game no matter how funny you'd think it'd be. I'm not gonna be "The One Who Broke Your Heart" and neither is he, but he is gonna love him those horns that Byrne and Clark know how to orchestrate so well.

Other Contenders:
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah-"Is This Home On Ice"
Television-"Marquee Moon"
Neutral Milk Hotel-"Ghost"

Margaret: Margaret's your first crush. Margaret's going to listen to music you didn't think girls would want to listen to that you also listened to it, because you're shallow. Unfortunately that band is Arcade Fire, which normally wouldn't be a bad thing, but she listens for that distinct sounds of Régine Chassagne, who tends to make it her business to be as busy on stage as possible while doing very little. Honestly it's exhausting. It's also kind of exhausting liking Margret, because like Arcade Fire, she stays very much the same throughout a long stretch of time. I guess what I'm saying is that Margaret is fine and she's supposed to evoke that feeling out of you and I have no problem choosing a fine Arcade Fire song like "No Cars Go" (you'll notice it has just enough Régine to where it's totally skippable like "Back Seat"). She's not going to get an "Antichrist Television Blues" because she hasn't earned it. It's a fine song for a fine bird-girl-person.

Other Contenders:
Arcade Fire-"Back Seat"
(I don't find Margaret all that interesting and feel no shame in just sticking with Arcade Fire being the only thing she listens to)

Eileen: Eileen on the other hand is kind of interesting when you think about it. She's kind of like if you were fortunate to revisit with Millie from Freaks And Geeks and see where she is in her mid-twenties. She's still in her shell, pretty awkward, but is friends with a seemingly cool bird-person (Margret) and works the typical cool job of a barista. You tend to hear cool music on the job like that and I think that because Eileen is a nice balance for Margaret, another Canadian super-group would fit her quite nicely. One that's more fun anyway, like The New Pornographers (sorry Broken Social Scene). An upbeat-sounding diddy like "A Bite Out Of My Bed" feels like an even better match to counter "No Cars Go." I also get some small amusement out of Eileen blushing if she ever had to say the band's name, like we all do at one point in our lives.

Other Contenders:
Neko Case-"Lion's Jaws"
The New Pornographers-"Brill Bruisers"
Jenny Lewis-"The Next Messiah"

Thomas: He's easily forgettable. So much so that I forgot to think about what music would best fit for him. That's why it's only fitting he should get "Keep Me In Mind" by Little Joy.

Other Contenders:
Guys, it's Thomas.