Indisputable Summah Jam Of 2015 And 2001

Finding yer Summer Summah Jam is a thankless task, be it for yourself or for any number of people. Oh God, especially for other people, because then you have that unending doom pit feeling in your stomach, constantly looking over at them and trying to read their reaction(s); oh man, how're they feeling about this guitar riff right now? Eff. Did he just curse? Maybe he/she didn't hear that, but should they really be offended by cursing in a song, I mean come on. Oooh yeh, they did not appreciate that. So help me if the reaction was "yeh....that was good" or "nice."

Love Is Real, I Saw It On Lost A Couple Of Times

We're a couple of months removed from the season of love, but lets go back there for a moment, because believe it or not, that's when I meant to write this. Look at that, it's 7 degrees outside, and my oh my, that windchill is dreadful. Why God, why am I back here in the dreaded season of love again?! Love may be in the air, but it is a biting and fearful one! What will keep me warm in this season of the tundra?

The Comprehensive Sam Wieland Media Diary Idea He Stole From Director Steven Soderbergh-April 2015

So listen, everything I wrote disappeared and the page reloaded when I tried to undo what had happened. I know my sometimes biting words of insight are most looked forward to with this, but if yer curious enough about them, you'll just ask me (thus putting the anus onus on you and I'm off scot-free in the responsibility department. Huzzah for Sam, right?) Anyway here's April's thing.

The That's Like Saying Your Favorite Kind Of Cereal Is Breakfast Cereal Awards

Like Donna Meagle, "I love breakfast cereal."
Since November, my roommate and I have been without cooking gas. If you've interacted with me in some capacity than you know this and you also know that I haven't explained very well why we don't have it. We just don't, what's with the interrogation? You apart of Big Gas or something? Annnyway, because of a lack of a working oven and stove, a lot of cereal's been consumed here at the ol [assign fun name for our apartment here]-lotta walks down nostalgia lane with the selections and for once in my gah dang life I decided to mix it up (almost) every time a new box was needed, ya know, for consumption.

I Am Not Better Than You

I'd say a majority of my life has been dedicated to a certain pocket of pop-culture, making me not very special. I'm even more especially not special considering I'm not the only person who followed suit in turning their back towards the pocket known as Star Wars. Yup, it's about to get hella serious in here right now.

The Comprehensive Sam Wieland Media Diary Idea He Stole From Director Steven Soderbergh-March 2015

Yeah, I know. It's May, and I never got this out in April. Gonna sue me?! No, because you don't even care all that much. You can also tell when I'm pretty motivated to write, because there are noticeably more hyperlinks, but half of those are clicked on anyways, so really just get to reading. April's (considerably) list will come soon. Or once school's over. Or never, because school will murder me
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Crackers Not Crapkers

Yer probably thinking' "hey, what exactly is a 'Crapker?' I mean I've heard of a 'cracker' and I've certainly heard of a 'crapper,' but what's all this now?!" Worry not, this is just some light and boisterous wordplay concerning another hard-hitting issue you never knew was important. Not since the man in the hat vs. the overrated-not-that-great-Limey-good-for-nothing have I, me, put such important and intense thinking into something. It's an age old debate and one of great importance and falling on the wrong side of things could result in utter chaos: things could go topsy-turvy, raining cats and dogs, forks using people to eat food!

You know what this is about and I'm insulting your intelligence by even saying it or entertaining the wrong idea by talking about it. But lets stop beating around the bush and get real. Lets talk about why Cheez-Its are about a million (maybe more) times better than crumby (it's a loaded adjective) ol' Gold Fish.

Indy Vs. Bond: The Rivalry You Never Thought Of

(Don't know why this is at the top of the page right now

but it is so just remember how much ya love it. And also

remember that I wrote this in High School, so hold some

judgement because we weren't all perfect in high school)

In film class today we just got done watching Dr. No. It was my first time seeing it and ya know, it was good I guess. I think people feel obligated to like it, because it's the first James Bond movie; it's filled with diarrhea music(*) and that's very distracting for me. After we finished up watching it, I brought up the fact that if I had to choose to win in a fight, I'd take Indiana Jones against James Bond.

BLASPHEMY!(apparently...)

(*) That sounds gross, it's because it is. Diarrhea music is when a movies or TV shows overplay music during a scene and for no apparent reason. Dr. No is chalk-full of it, some episodes of Friday Night Lights season 1 have it bad too and the first episode of Justified has it as well.

The Comprehensive Sam Wieland Media Diary Idea He Stole From Director Steven Soderbergh-February 2015

I don't think I have to explain myself to you people, not twice at least, so here's the January entry of this for context and one of those ICYMI (which stands for "In Case You Missed It"-sometimes people don't know what stuff like that stands for, and as far as I'm concerned ICYMI is a top-five acronym).

A Parks And Rec Mix-Tape To Give To Your Loved Ones (Seasons 1&2)

 

We're closer than I'd like to accept to the end of one of my favorite television shows of all time. Next Tuesday (tonight) marks the end of one of the most genuinely pleasing, personal, hilarious, touching and altogether brightest shows to ever grace our brains, hearts, spleens, etc. Parks And Recreation. You will be missed and never forgotten, or else.

I Know Who I Was Looking Out For A Year Ago (Number 1, That's Who)

Should I have shame for what I've done? Should a man feel shame for loving his wife? Should a burrito feel shame for being delicious? Or should a boy who grew up on the other side of the tracks feel shame for being the new/bad boy in town, with the whole world and bagels at his disposal - should he feel shame? No. He shouldn't, but sometimes he does. Especially when he's forced to go to cotillion (what the hell even was cotillion?, he had to ask himself; surely no such thing happened in Chino), or when his mom showed up (not even the same woman from the pilot!) and got sloppy drunk at that casino night. Homeboy even picked up hours at The Crab Shack to fit in and almost got pulled back into the wrong crowd, via leather wristband-clad douche, Donnie. But the boy prevails, but not without having blood be shed, from his nemesis no less. But Luke Ward was not Ryan Atwood's nemesis; the environment was the enemy, as it was Seth Cohen and Sandy Cohen's. They were outsiders looking in and living in, like we all were. For you see, The O.C. is inescapable.

The Comprehensive Sam Wieland Media Diary Idea He Stole From Director Steven Soderbergh-January 2015

For those of you who, for whatever reason, don't know Steven Soderbergh (director of your favorite movies like the Ocean's series, Out Of Sight, Traffic, Haywire, Contagion, Behind The Candelabra and so much friggin' more) releases a media diary at the end of every year. He makes note of everything he takes in from an entire year almost as if to shame those who think they take in a lot of content. It's not a competition, but Soderbergh's got you beat no matter what and his picks never cease to be interesting. Here's his respective lists: 2014, 2013, 2012.

The Definitive Music Guide To Regular Show

Yes. I'm a twenty-year-old boy about to write about a cartoon and music that best personifies some of their characters. I do not blame you in anyway if you choose to stop reading, frankly, anything after this and rethink your life. However, if you could still give me that page view, it'd be ever so kind. Alright now on to the comprehensive and definitive music guide to characters from the cartoon Regular Show.

Scarf It Down......Deep, Deep Down

I've realized something these past two or so years living in Chicago. It's mid-west territory, obviously something I wasn't manufactured for, especially with all the mysteries it brings. But, like a less (much less) manly Teddy Roosevelt, I ventured into this untamed and uncharted territory and, while I certainly haven't become the cowboy he was, I'd say I'm doing puh-retty, well. Except for one small thing, that I just can't seem to shake. I should preface this by saying, I'm more than aware of how particular this is; it's boarder line insane that I'm actually putting words to this, but hey, ya gotta give the people what they want. And that is a Sam-itorial (kinda like "editorial"; thank you Musers). Am I prepared for the friends I'll lose after this? That's a risk you take in this industry (what industry?). And before you mutter to yourself after reading, oh lets say the forth paragraph, "you're ridiculous" or "this is ridiculous" might I make this counter point? You're ridiculous.

Please Don't Hire Me To Do Music At Yer Wedding [UPDATED]

What's prompting this? I'll tell you and it yer not going to like it.