What It's Like To Be Self Conscience About Your Play Counts

I'll tell you now. It's terrible. It's like publicly and yet secretly ousting your favorite child. It'd be like my parents announcing in our non-existant family newsletter (Wieland's Gazette!) that they've thrown more love and attention at me than at my brothers. Except I'm the only subscriber.

I have a very love/hate relationship with my play count. I should never look at it seriously, and yet most times I do, I take it very seriously. I start second guessing myself. I try to call bullsh on something designed to specifically do something very simple/something I wouldn't be able to do because I just don't have enough units* to count off of.

*fingers, toes, ears, etc.

I'd like to point out the amount of courage I have to have still not updated to iTunes 11

For instance, according to my computer, specifically iTunes, I've listened to the song "Home" by LCD Soundsystem 85 times. That's probably 700+ minutes and what I can only assume is close to... around 12+ hrs. total in my life. And that's recently too, this hasn't been a spread out ordeal. This has been roughly in the past 2-1/2 years, probably*. So I've spent at least half a day of my life listening to just one song by one band. Now, granted, they are my favorite band, so I guess it's been time well spent. No, I don't guess, I know.

*with the number of times I've said and thought "probably" it's clear I'm not exactly cut out for a job in the play count field

Now I see that number. I see 85 and I think "bullshit." I don't know why, it's a very reasonable estimate for me. But only 85? I've statistically spent half of a full day-plus (probably) listening to one song on a loop, and it's only accumulated to 85 listens. iTunes, you sly minx, you've cracked my brain. There's also a very unsettling drop off between my top two most played songs to number three. I've got "Home" at 85 plays, then "All I Want" (also by LCD Soundsystem) at 80 which, again, is probably normal. Then my brain, or I guess appeal does this weird thing where I put a 12 play gap between two and three. What does that mean? It means "I Can Change" (you guessed it! by LCD Soundsystem) has 68 plays.

"Sam, you're just being neurotic now" is what you should be and most likely are saying. And who's to blame you, I mean look at me, I'm a mess, because I'm trying to figure all this out.

What even prompted this? From time to time, I think about the dreaded play count that rests in my computer and how updated it gets. I was walking back from class today, and was listening to music, specifically....oof, I wish I could tell you it was something else, I wish I could tell you it was Sufjan Stevens, because Seven Swans has been a big player as of late. And so has TV On The Radio (oh man I just found this, and it's sick). But nope. It was LCD Soundsystem. And it was from a bootleg I found of their last concert. I listen to the thing religiously (but not 85 times religiously, obviously). And midway through the album it's got this perfect little gem of continual greatness that always seems to get me hooked.

The thought process is simple: "I wanna listen to 'Someone Great.' Oh man, 'Yeah (Crass Version)' is right before it, and it bleeds into it. Ok, I'll start with that. Oh yeh, 'Movement' does the same thing. Guess I'll really start with that." And with that thought process alone, I was able to bump up two of the three into the top 25 of my most played*. I haven't even had the live bootleg that I found for a year and already it's commenced plaguing my play count. And it's great. I just wish there was a way to make it up to all the songs who deserve just as much of a play count. O! how I weep for the Neko Case, Ted Leo & The Pharmacists, Pavement, The Strokes, Sufjan Stevens, Talking Heads (I clearly started from a specific place in my library while scrolling through names) tracks, who may just never have a chance.

*"Someone Great" you're just two plays shy from knocking "Once In A Lifetime" outta there, so don't be too discouraged

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While I was in Spain, if you do recall, we listened to music from someone's iPod while we worked. There was a handful of injustices during that particular trip and I'd say one of them, for me, is not being able to play my music. Not in a childish "I didn't get my way" mentality though. No, I regret not enforcing Marshall Law via Music, because what I would give to see people's reaction to the music I'd play. Is that weird? It's probably a little weird. But almost every time I go running or studying or writing some malicious blog post that hardly anyone will read fantastic post, eyes can't even begin to comprehend to soak in I just start laughing, thinking of what some of the high schoolers would say. The protests and boos I would get and some of my precious music would receive! Why didn't I do it?! It's their loss really, because I make it hard for some of them to tell when I'm emitting actual joy or sarcast-joy. Generally, it's the latter, but for a couple of minutes* they could've caught me off guard. So joke's on you losers for not keeping an open mind (and ultimately on me for not thinking to put on my iPod. SAM YOU IDIOT)!

*I can only guess LCD Soundsystem would get very, very little play time amongst the group