Can I Get My Friend Gyasi To Watch The Bachelor? Probably Not But I'm Gonna Try

I'm, without a doubt, an important person with important priorities. During my winter break this year I've done countless upon countless prestige things like reading comics (our dad getting Marvel Unlimited was the greatest gift he got for Christmas that is benefiting everyone-namely, me!), watching movies, playing a not embarrassing amount of Halo 2 while listening to podcasts and watching basketball. I've also done a not so remarkable thing that I wasn't even going to talk about, because unlike so many other things that I do, it's not that important. It's not not off-brand of me, don't worry your pretty little head, I just didn't feel like it needed noting; my business is my business, deal with it.


There's nothing tremendously interesting about me having started watching The Bachelor. Could I have started writing a weekly post about it and how my brain has started deteriorating due to said watching? No one cares. We all know it's a show filled with garbage people and my dad even asked, unprompted and free of irony, "can you even call it reality TV, when there's nothing real about it?" Sweet, innocent Rick, go keep reading Frank Miller Daredevils or whatever else I put in your Marvel library, you beautiful man.

So yeh, I'm not out and about gloating about it, because it doesn't matter and I'm also not embarrassed about it and am way more than willing to gab about it if you'd like. I've got a lot of hard opinions that ultimately lead to me just saying "_________ is cuckoo bananas, right!" and, after last night, "I miss Lace. Would've loved to see what she'd do during this."

But something hit me today. Maybe it was my brain trying to recalibrate and rebuild after putting myself spending two hours last night watching the third episode of The Bachelor of this season. Third episode of my life; I like to live life a little dangerously, hopping on to a show that's gone 20 seasons (oh my God) in almost 14 years (no way that can be okay). Actually it was this tweet from my friend, Gyasi:


Harsh words. As a new watcher I felt the need to defend



The real question here, is what was Gyasi just doing hanging around ABC around 7 o'clock central time, 5 o'clock his time? Waiting for Castle to come on, guy? Well it ain't on right now! Also, don't watch Castle. His retort....hurt but it led to this



So this is me trying kinda hard. Public shaming? No not really. But I feel like with each episode that airs, a stronger case can be made as to why Gyasi should be watching. And the only way I can build a case is by taking in that episode and trying to put words on this semi-public and very well ignored forum todo so. Will I be as convincing as Jubilee was when she said her favorite food was hot dogs? Gyasi, it's okay if you don't get that reference now, it'll come to you in due time, if I do my job right. But yeh, there's a girl whose favorite food is hot dogs. She's something else.

Allow me to be your Yoda, enter this nightmare cave (how you perceive it) and leave your weapons (pre-conceived notions and cynicism) behind, you will not need them. And when you come out, you will be enlightened, a little shaken, but you will have grown, no doubt.  Hopefully you won't turn out like that dumb dumb Luke who gets his hand chopped off, because he didn't listen to anything Yoda had to say. Also yes, I am watching Empire Strikes Back right now, I don't see what that has to do with anything.

I've done all the convincing I can do this week, but come next week, once episode four has seen the light of day, once more women get sent home, I'll have something new for you, Gyasi and maybe then I can get you to watch The Bachelor. Also, I'm probably the best and worst person to get you on board; you have to respect my moxie approaching this as if I were a seasoned veteran who's been with it since 2002. Nope, not even kind of, I'm just on that Bachelor high, and it is sweet my friend.