Can I Get My Friend Gyasi To Watch The Bachelorette? Week 2 (Cont.): A Chad Appreciation Post (Pt. II)

(Pt. I is here)

I've experienced two moments of absolute personal bliss in the month of May. The first was listening to Coloring Book AKA Chance 3 AKA everyone pack it in no need to try and top this unless your name is Pusha T. The second was witnessing Chad (last name still not looked up) give what I can only equate to an MVP like performance on The Bachelorette and probably The Bachelor combined. No one can out-strategize him or out-think him. He's playing a game we can't comprehend and I think I know why, because I have it on good authority to believe that Chad is actually Brad Pitt or Rusty Ryan (AKA Brad Pitt from Ocean's Eleven, Twelve and Thirteen).

There was a...commotion made last week between the Bachelor viewing world and the jealous bro-guys (who are clearly desperate and trying to find a dent in the Chad armor-too bad ya jabronies cus there aren't any, besides probably caring too much) after last week's episode chapter and that was the remarks made towards Chad's eating habits. Homie likes to eat and for a generation that has a (rightfully) low tolerance for body-shaming or food-shaming people....well let's just say it looked a lot like Normandy Beach out there in the fight against those things. You can't tell, but I'm shaking my head in disappointment. I don't think this is going to get Chad down, I mean how could it, but it made me realize something



















Do you know what that feeling is right now that you're experiencing? You've either just listened to "Angels" or this revelation has just hit you square in the face/heart/soul/etc. And this isn't some half-assed, thoughtless proclamation, especially if you know how much I love the Ocean's movies (and  E-specially Rusty). You could also make a case for Chad being Dan Egan from Veep but that's based purely on looks and speech patterns. That won't stick in court. But this (above) will.

So, Gyasi, why should you watch The Bachelorette? Because how often do you get to see one of America's last great movie stars and mega-celebrity come down to our level and remind us that he's just like us? It seldom happens and I'd hate for you to miss that.