I Am Not Better Than You

I'd say a majority of my life has been dedicated to a certain pocket of pop-culture, making me not very special. I'm even more especially not special considering I'm not the only person who followed suit in turning their back towards the pocket known as Star Wars. Yup, it's about to get hella serious in here right now.

This is already an incredibly pointless thing to be writing, so I won't linger on things we all know, like just how garbage the prequels are. Because they are. They're super garbage. They're star garbage, meaning they fester up in space collecting other garbage that no other planet or universes want and they from this super garbage baby that everyone's ashamed and disgusted to look at. Unless you're the guy in my class (who I understand is not alone in his walk of seeing value in those garbage movies) who tried talking about the Jedi order like it was a real thing and how once you're part of it, discipline is what separates you from yer enemy. Talk about something less lame, guy! Put it in Night's Watch lingo or Ranger talk for me, because right now yer dunce cap couldn't be any larger. Laugh at him everyone! Point and laugh! SHAME HIM!

But actually, I'd say Lord Of The Rings was the primary force that robbed, at the very least, my interest from Star Wars (like it matters). Firstly, those movies are better than basically two-thirds of the original trilogy for probably thousands of reasons and secondly ol' SW did itself no favors with having its garbage heap come out in the same time as LOTR. Though I suppose we all come across this superiority complex when we introduce LOTR into our lives, even at the cost of humiliating others.

But again, none of that matters (actually there's probably some very sad potential in debating which original trilogy is better between Rings and Wars, even though the answer is obviously the former, but some people still believe that James Bond is better than Indiana Jones so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ). What's kind of cool is being remotely excited for Star Wars again. Because have you seen that new trailer? Do you know what I'm talking about? It'd be weird if you didn't, because that sucker's been out for like three weeks now or something. [Editor's Note: it's been like four weeks now or something]


It's the opposite of a Terminator: Genisys trailer. Know how I know that? Because it was a suggested video and I put myself through watching it, because wow I needed something to contrast that Force Awakens trailer, and Dawn Of Justice wasn't worth it. (I should also say that it takes something very special for me to not even think the best part of that trailer was seeing Han effing Solo again. Yes, I was incredibly happy to see our vest-clad friend again after what must've been an incredible transformation, but it's not what will be the first thing that comes into my head when thinking about that trailer.)

Finally, there will be very little shame in my heart whenever I say something like "in the words of Lando Calrissian, 'this deal is getting worse all the time'" or "to quote one Lando Calrissian, 'they told me they fixed it. I trusted them! It's not my fault!'" or "as the god, Lando Calrissian once said, 'how ya doin' you old pirate!'" and finally "hello, what have we here?" Do I have an explanation as to why Lando Calrissian has had such an impact on my vocabulary? Not even kind of, other than if I think back on it, I probably watched our VHS special edition of Empire Strikes Back far too many times when I was younger.

I don't know what you're supposed to do with this information, and by paragraph one's end, I was strongly debating on if this thing was even worth writing, but then I somehow was able to incorporate that thing about Lando Calrissian, so that was really special. I guess if you should take anything away form this it's that you can try to escape yer past, but it'll somehow come back for you and it could be a good thing. Like having that cut of John Williams' score on it. Or there could be a crashed Star Destroyer in the background (did you see that coming!?). Or it's because Oscar Isaac's in it (that's totally it).


So congratulations Star Wars and congratulations, nerds. I'm technically in. Watchmen is still not that great.