Anyway, the weather in Chicago (where I am not centrally located right now ((when I wrote that I wasn't but now I am back-thanks for asking and wondering)) as of late has been pleasant, meaning dogs have been making more appearances than what I'm used to. Also I'm home right now (that's a lie) and reunited with my own dogs so it's just all dogs all the time. I should also mention that I recently watched One Hundred And One Dalmatians (not to be mistaken with 101 Dalmatians which is barely a movie) and that is probably the best Disney animated flick to come out of that era, if you care about that sort of thing (I'm open to hear your weak argument as to what is better). There was also that episode of The Bachelor that showed the twins' house in Vegas and hey look they had like what, 4 dachshunds maybe 5.
For some reason, this has really stuck with me (which shouldn't be too surprising, really) and has crept up in my thinking every now and again. I mean those twins were cuckoo bananas and super garbage people and their dog ownership only contributes to half of those things. Which really led me to the realization that while yes there are crazy cat ladies, people with more than three of the same kind of dog are equally or more crazy. (I should also say that puppies do not count, because there's a possible means to an end there; when they are full fledged dogs, then we have a problem)
How have I deducted this? Well let's look at the breakdown through the household with the assumption that every dog is a different kind
One dog: that's a fun family
Two dogs: oh nice, they're animal people
Three dogs: wow, I don't know if I could manage three dogs, but that's super impressive that they can
Four dogs: so much hair, so much kibble (honest question: is kibble real?) but man they have four dogs! It's like a dog parade all the time!
Five dogs: I've heard of a dog day afternoon, but this is ridiculous! Hoo-ah!
Six dogs: I've heard of reservoir dogs (Chris Penn counts), but this is ridiculous!
Seven dogs: a dog for each day of the week-wonderful!
Eight dogs: it's like a tiny dog United Nations-this is great!
Nine dogs: well they have the property and land, in this circumstance, I fully get why you'd have nine dogs
Ten dogs: (no one should really have ten dogs, I don't think, because then you definitely value animal life over human life and you most likely saw a lot of value in Meat Is Murder which ya know, is fine to a degree)
Here's what it looks like with the same kind of dog
One dog: that's a fun family
Two dogs: guess they really like that kind of dog, I get it
Three dogs: yeh, they do really like that kind of dog, though they're probably like dog siblings or might as well be, I get that
Four dogs: that seems a little excessive
Five dogs: that's just eccentric
Six dogs: no, we're not going over there, they have six _______ and that's just weird
Seven dogs: what's the point in even naming all those, they look too similar
Eight dogs: didn't think it was possible to be straight up boastful when it came to the kind of dogs you have, but sure enough, they found a way
Nine dogs: they have nine dogs all of the same variety-where's the adventure? where's the excitement? Just a buncha weirdos if you ask me.
Ten dogs: (this is doubly true for people with ten of the same freaking kind of dog, especially if you're not even breeding them on purpose and don't act like dog breeders aren't weirdos, because they super are-with no offense towards dog breeders)
Fifteen dogs: an exception can be made here, but there are very specific conditions: they must be dalmatians. That's about it, because that actually says it all: you are a big fan of the movie One Hundred And One Dalmatians and by George you are committed to the bit.
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